


six months

by planetundersiege



Category: Good Omens (TV), Good Omens - Neil Gaiman & Terry Pratchett
Genre: Angst, Aziraphale Loves Crowley (Good Omens), Crowley Loves Aziraphale (Good Omens), Fandom 5k 2020 gift exchange, First Kiss, Fluff, Getting Together, Gift Exchange, Happy Ending, Hurt/Comfort, Ineffable Husbands (Good Omens), M/M, Panic Attacks, Post-Almost Apocalypse (Good Omens), Post-Canon, Wordcount: 1.000-5.000, good omens - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-06-04
Updated: 2020-06-04
Packaged: 2021-03-04 06:21:51
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,054
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24539164
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/planetundersiege/pseuds/planetundersiege
Summary: After finally breaking free from the grasps of Heaven and Hell, Aziraphale and Crowley tries to navigate their newfound freedom and their feelings for each other.
Relationships: Aziraphale/Crowley (Good Omens)
Kudos: 10
Collections: Fandom 5K 2020





	six months

**Author's Note:**

  * For [clavicular](https://archiveofourown.org/users/clavicular/gifts).



It had been a few long and unusual months since the apocanot, and Aziraphale and Crowley had spent it trying to figure out themselves, and what they were going to do now when they were free from the controlling grasps of Heaven and Hell. Right now, they were free, and the Earth was safe from any supernatural influences from either side, with the angel and the demon as the planet’s new, unofficial protectors, on their own side. They were on humanity’s side. It’s exactly what they had wanted for so long without realizing it, yet old habits were hard to break after so many years, and both still found themselves thinking about the offices and the consequences of their actions, before they realized they wouldn’t interfere anymore, for now. They were too scared of them after their little stunt involving them surviving their own executions with their body swap, and hopefully they would stay away forever.

In the beginning, they still felt tense whenever they were around one another, especially for longer periods of time, expecting the worst. That feeling only grew as their relationship progressed and became more forward than ever before. Part of them told them to check behind their shoulder for a stray angel or a demon straight from Hell trying to spy on them, waiting for their next move while plotting what to do about them next, trying to find their weaknesses (which were their fondness of each other). But thankfully, nothing of the sort happened, and soon, they began to lighten up a bit, and become more brave and open with one another.

And when they did, it quickly became clear that they were more than just best friends, and that they had actually suppressed that for centuries for their own security while their subconscious said than an angel and a demon never would work out, which they now knew what an absolute lie. They were their own people, allowed to fall for and live together with anyone they wanted, including each other, but the first three months, neither actually knew how to act on it, at all.

When you were finally allowed to have what you had wanted for so long, it was hard to actually figure out how to approach it, and the two of them just kept beating around the bush, not knowing how to start the very serious and very important conversation about their feelings. Even if they already  _ knew _ how the other felt, it felt weird to talk about it before well, they had actually confessed it for real, which neither had been ready for. The moment had to be perfect, especially when their mind told them that anything less than perfect would make the other one lose interest, while also being afraid they had misread the signals the whole time. And in the worst case, the other would shut the other out because of confusion.

But after those three first months, Aziraphale had finally gathered enough bravery and confessed his feelings for Crowley, which had happily accepted in a heartbeat, tears in his beautiful golden eyes, happy that the confession was  _ real  _ and genuine. His entire sclera were golden as well, showing that his emotions were going haywire. To finally be able to  _ hear _ Aziraphale telling him that he loved him back, to hear those words he had craved for so long. It had been an emotional roller coaster, six thousand years of emotions crammed into a few words. But, everything was different after those words. It was like being back in Heaven right after the creation of the world, feeling the absolute bliss of everything run through his body, where everything was new, exciting and  _ perfect _ , with only the future ahead of them. The hope when they realized they would build something new together, from scratch. Something that would hopefully be there forever.

Soon, they were both brave enough to hold each other’s hands, first in the secret confinement of Aziraphale’s bookshop late at night after closing, with cups of newly made coffee and hot cocoa on the table, then in Crowley’s flat while watching Golden Girls on his flat screen tv, and then in public, usually in the park on their favorite bench, eating ice cream as they watched the people passing by. And then at the Ritz, under the table while Crowley happily watched Aziraphale enjoying his many luxurious meals, one after another. It was a sort of… domestic bliss if you could call it that, like being newly in love, so shy, but also the feeling of having already been together forever.

And right now, that’s where they were, at the Ritz. Aziraphale had just finished his dessert, and Crowley had stared at him the entire time, with a smile on his face, while his eyes stayed covered by his shades in the usual fashion. There was something calming about seeing the angel happily eat in front of him, like he trusted him enough to have him seated beside him in the restaurant.

“Enjoying yourself angel?”

“Oh Crowley, yes. It was such a great idea to come here today. That dessert was the highlight of my meal, the cake was the right amount of crispy, and still managed to be gooey in the middle. We need to compliment the chef after this my dear.” Aziraphale answered, and Crowley could see the sparkle in his blue eyes. He was sure he could drown in them, they were more dangerous than holy water, intimidating, but sweet and gentle at the same time.

“Glad you liked it, did you know how hard it was to miracle us a free seat without anyone asking questions when this place is currently entirely booked for a work conference?” he said, and looked around. Yes, people around them were giving them weird looks from time to time, because no person working at the company could actually piece together where these two actually worked, because neither had ever been seen on company property before. But, most of them shrugged it off in the end, arriving to the conclusion that they simply worked in another department they didn’t interact with, and just kept in the shadows. So, the two got to enjoy their meal in piece.

“I can imagine, so that’s why we’re getting all of these looks I presume.”

“Yeah, that’s it.”

“You know you could have just taken us here another day. This seems like it was quite the trouble for you.”

“I know I could have just miracled us a table any other day, but I really wanted to take you here today.” Crowley began, doing his best not to slouch with his back and looking down in the table. A part of him still wanted to slither away like a snake whenever he became more openly emotional or showed that he cared. Being open about being emotional was still far too new to the demon to feel comfortable with in public. “You talked about how you felt like you wanted to eat here, and mentioned a new dessert you wanted to try out, and you sounded so passionate about it. So how could I deny that for you? So I miracled us a table because I knew you would enjoy it, and I wanted to treat you, not later, but today. Because you deserve it.”

“Crowley, that’s so kind of you, thank you. You’re really sweet.”

Before, the demon would have tried his best to seem mean and dumb after hearing something like this, usually shown with some insults or threats while pushing the angel against a wall, for his own safety and reputation as a demon, but now he did nothing like that. Instead of being scared of being called nice, he was just embarrassed at Aziraphale calling him sweet.

“Ngk.”

Aziraphale raised an eyebrow, before he got the biggest smirk on his face, and then spoke up.

“Oh, so no pushing me against the wall this time then, my dear?”

“ _ Aziraphale! _ ” he shouted without thinking, clutching his hand in a sort of reflex. And as he saw that people were beginning to stare, he looked down into the table, feeling the warmth spread across his cheeks before whispering. “Shut up.”

“Oh, my apologies. Did I hit a wrong spot or go to far?”

“Not really, you just took me by surprise, especially since we’re around people, and here you are mentioning  _ that _ .”

“Sorry, I thought it would just be some harmless fun.”

“Angel, it’s fine, like I said, you just took me by surprise.”

“Are you sure? I don’t want to accidentally make you uncomfortable.”

“I promise, okay? If I was uncomfortable I would tell you. I’m used to being around people and interacting, but I’m still not really used to being around other people while showing emotions or being told things like that, so I was surprised. Remember, I didn’t have six thousand years of doing good and acting all chummy and happy with all humans I met.”

“Ah, right.” Aziraphale answered before nodding. He sometimes seemed to forget that Crowley was a demon, and not an angel, and that their lives on Earth must have been completely different during the times they didn’t see each other. “I’ll keep that in mind. But please tell me if I’m going to fast for you.”

Crowley chuckled.

“Fun thing that you’re telling me to tell you if you’re moving too fast.”

“You’re still thinking about that time?”

He nodded.

“Yeah. from time to time. It was a weird meeting, trust me, with the holy water and all. And I know you must have felt terrible for actually giving me the holy water to begin with, emotions all over the place, trust me, I felt like that too. But after all our years together, I did feel a bit hurt when you said I went to fast for you when I asked if I could drop you anywhere. I was scared I had overstepped a boundary I didn’t know you had, and that you would hate me from then on. I know what that obviously wasn’t the case, now when I think back about it, you had literally handed me what you thought was a suicide pill. But yeah, it did hurt for a while.”

  
“I’m so sorry about that Crowley, I really didn’t mean for it to sound like that back when it happened, I really didn’t mean to hurt you in the way I did, because I care for you, and had always done. If I had known how that had made you feel I would have persuaded the entire thing differently.”

“Angel, it’s fine, that was long ago, and it already happened, and it can’t be undone. But we’re here now, and talking about it is honestly making me feel better about the entire thing, it makes it feel less fresh, and like the past.”

“It does?”

“Yeah, and it makes me feel better now when I know the “you go to fast” thing didn’t mean what I thought it meant back then. We’re obviously here together after all. And taking kind of gives me a sort of...closure I guess? Makes me realize we’ve moved on from those events.”

Aziraphale nodded.

“Okay, it’s good to hear that.” he began. “Do you want to talk more about this, or any other event from our lives later when we get back to the bookshop? I’ll listen if you need to vent about anything from our past.”

“Thanks for the offer angel, but I think that’s enough for now, but I’ll remember that when I want to talk more about it, okay?”

“That’s a deal then. Oh, Crowley. and before we go, can I hold your hand under the table for a bit? But only if you’re in the mood?”

“Of course you can Aziraphale.”

  
  
  


More time passed and the couple kept spending each day dining out in various restaurants, or walking down the streets of London, feeling the cold air against their faces, and in February, five months after the apocanot, they found themselves on their way home late at night after having been to the park, throwing bread to the few birds who hadn’t migrated to warmer climates, because neither Aziraphale or Crowley could bear the thought of them going hungry during the months were fewer people brought them food.

They had been having a conversation about ducks, questioning which angel or demon had bribed Her to design it like  _ that  _ before the first war brought creation to a stop, when they suddenly saw that the doors to the bookshop stood wide open, part of the door forcibly removed, possibly by a crowbar. The uneven parts of tree laid on the ground, and Crowley saw how Aziraphale immediately tensed up, whispering about his shop and burglars as his breathing sped up, showing that he was beginning to panic.

Crowley had immediately felt how his heartbeat shot through the air, and without thinking he literally threw his shades away violently, hearing them break as they touched the pavement, and then ran as quickly as he could into the shop. He was sure his eyes were completely golden already as rage built up in him over the fact that strangers had broken into Aziraphale’s private, safe space to do god knows what. He was not going to let that happen, ever.

“WHERE THE HELL ARE YOU, YOU FUCKING DELINQUENTS?!? SHOW YOURSELF!” he screamed so loudly that the walls felt like they were shaking, which they probably were because of his emotions taking over his powers. “WHO DARES ENTER MY ANGEL’S BOOKSHOP?!?”

He heard curses coming from the back room, and without even waiting for a second, he ran into it, bolting down the door with only his weight and another miracle, the bang when the wood hit the ground seemed to be so loud that it could wake the entire neighborhood. He didn’t care about that though, not during a moment like this.

And in the middle of the backroom were three men, young, barely out of their teens. They were each carrying a large garbage sack, that at this point seemed to all be half full. He saw how they tensed, the fear in their eyes as he stared back at them with his golden eyes with his slit demon pupils. He bared his teeth as he hissed at them, making sure to manifest his fangs, and some black and red scales over his face. But when he did, more of his snake characteristics took over, leaving his tongue forked and visible as he kept talking to the burglars, now in a cold, hissing whisper.

“I’ll give you sssorry excusssesss of human ssscum three sssecondsss to exit thisss bookssshop before I burn you with hellfire. Don’t you dare to ever come back, becaussse I will find you, you can’t hide from me. If you ever asss much asss think of hurting my angel’sss home ever again, you will go to hell, and trussst me, I know what it’sss like down there. Ssso, leave if you love yourssself enough, leave if you want to keep living.”

He didn’t have to speak up twice. As soon as the paralysis stopped, the three burglars bolted out of the shop as quickly as possible. He heard their screams and cursing, as well as what must be a sob, and soon their footsteps were nothing more than silence, proving that they really had left, leaving behind the garbage bag filled with Aziraphale’s goods they had almost stolen. He still felt the warmth and heat all over his body, and he was shaking as his heart beat faster and faster, his mind finally registering what he had done. It was like a cocktail of emotions taking over, making him shiver as his mind seemed to explode and scream at himself. He gritted his teeth and felt the warm tears run down his cheeks, but didn’t register he was actually crying until his still forked tongue tasted one of the salty drops.

Everything felt like it was becoming a blur, and no matter what he did, he couldn’t move. Instead, he heard the loud thump and creak when his body hit the wooden floor, but didn’t feel any sensation at all. Without the sound, he wouldn’t even have realized he had fallen over. He was bad, so so bad. He had just been threatening humans like that, humans that couldn’t comprehend powers and supernatural beings like him. And yet, he had threatened their lives without even thinking about it, and had continued as the feeling of power grew within him. He had lost completely control, all on his mind being to punish these burglars for trying to ruin Aziraphale’s day. He had completely lost it, as the memories of Aziraphale’s burning bookshop haunted the back of his mind, the warmth in the air and the scent of burning wood and books plaguing his nostrils. It was like he had been back there again, during the revelation where he thought the angel had been murdered, and his mind had not been ready to handle something like that.

He didn’t know how long he would have laid there on the floor, panicking, if he had been there by himself, or what more damage he could have done if his mind kept going haywire, but thankfully, he wasn’t alone during this moment of self hate and despair, while all of his feelings were thrown at him.

“Crowley?”

It was like Aziraphale’s voice pulled him out of a deep rabbit hole he was falling deeper and deeper into. He was still shaking and could barely think straight, everything still being to much for him, but hearing his voice was such a blessing.

The tears kept continuing to run down Crowley’s face as he laid there on the ground, just listening to the angel talk to him.

“Crowley, I’m here. Can you hear me?”

He nodded and let out a small wail that wasn’t supposed to be any word at all, just an indicator that he could hear him.

“Okay, listen. I’ll stay here with you for as long as you’d like, okay dear? I’ll keep talking for as long as you need to. Can I touch your shoulder, or is that too much stimulation?”

He nodded again, and the moment he felt the angel’s gentle touch, the stream of tears became stronger, and he let out several loud gasps, sobbing loudly. He felt like he was about to drown in his own tears as he kept wailing, Aziraphale’s hand on him the only thing that kept him from going numb and losing himself. It was such a comfort in the darkest of moments.

He didn’t know how long they sat like this, Crowley lying on the floor with Aziraphale patting his shoulder, all while the door to the bookshop was still open and damaged, letting in the cold from the outside. Aziraphale could miracle it back later. But once Crowley began to feel better and he actually remembered what had happened, it was like he had swallowed a stone that tried to pin him to the ground with its weight. He was still crying, his face swollen and puffy from all the tears, but he couldn’t stop. He just looked at Aziraphale with a devastated face.

“Crowley, how are you feeling?”

“Why aren’t you afraid of me?

“What?”

“Why aren’t you afraid of me? You just saw what I can do, I lost control and threatened to kill a few humans. I revealed myself, showed them my powers, my anger took over and all I wanted to do was to hurt them, to scare them so that they would run away. I couldn’t do anything, I just felt the power and the rush as I transformed in front of them, the part of me fed of the fear. I felt so violent, even though I didn’t actually hurt them. It fucking scared me.” he began, his voice trembling and cracking through each sentence he said. “If they hadn’t ran away, what would have happened? I could have killed them for satan's sake.”

“Crowley, you wouldn’t…”

“And how the heaven do you know what? You don’t know what it’s like getting a demonic rush like that. I’m dangerous! So how can you still touch my shoulder without feeling any sort of disgust or fear? You should be scared of me angel, you saw what I can do.”

“I’m not...”

“But you saw…”

“Listen to me, I’m not scared of you in the slightest, this doesn’t change a thing between us. I get that your instincts took over, but no one was harmed. I know you would never hurt anyone on purpose my dear.” he said, and Crowley felt Aziraphale’s grip around him tighten, like if he was pulled into a warm comforting hug. He swore he had never felt so vulnerable in his entire life before, shaking and crying as Aziraphale did his best to calm him down after the aftermath of it all. He was showing him all the parts he tried to hide and suppress, from demonic anger to his insecurities as he cried, a hellish sign of weakness.

“Bu…”

“No buts Crowley.” he continued, and he saw how Aziraphale turned his head to make sure to look into his eyes. His expression was calm and serious, not a single bit of fright hidden away anywhere. Crowley didn’t know what to think of this, if he should laugh or cry, because Aziraphale really didn’t look or feel scared of him, while his own instincts told him that the angel  _ should _ be after a thing like that. His eyes were still so pale blue. “Look at me. And tell me again  _ why _ you lost control. It wasn’t to torment some humans, it was a burglary. A burglary in my shop. That was what made you lose it, wasn’t it?”

He nodded.

“Yeah, it was. I just saw the expression on your face when you realized someone had broken into the bookshop. You looked devastated, and the thought of someone involving your private safe space with all of your belongings that you treasure so much, to be serious, it made my blood boil. The thought of someone hurting you like this by vandalizing your door and stealing all of your stuff. It was all to much, I didn’t want you to be hurt by something like this, so I lost it and ran inside and threatened them. I’m sorry.”

“Crowley dear, there’s nothing to be sorry about. You did it for me, to protect my shop. There’s nothing evil about that, to me, this seemed like an act of love and protection”

“You mean you’re not mad at me?”

“How could I ever be mad at you? I love you more than anything.”

Crowley felt how Aziraphale embraced him tighter in the hug, he felt safe in his arms and kept sobbing at the thought of Aziraphale not hating him.

  
  
  


Another month passed, and it was now March. The angel and demon were spending their night together in Aziraphale’s bookshop, not unlike most nights, while drinking a bottle or two of the finest wine from Aziraphale’s collection, which always seemed to replenish to become a full stock with originals from hundreds of years ago. They were chatting, Crowley sitting extremely close to the angel, while the sun had set hours ago.

“And that’s when I said “fuck you Beelzebub, I’ll show you what I can do” and left hell with style, I didn’t even turn around once which terrified the other demons. It was such a nice few minutes of glory as I walked out with pride I didn’t know I had, feeling like I had just punched the almighty in the face.” Crowley began before taking another sip from his glass. “That pride shattered like two seconds after I left hell, and then I realized what the fuck I had done, and panicked. I was sure every demon would want a head on a pole. But lucky me, not even a year later the French Revolution happened, and of course it wasn’t me that started it, but the humans, but Hell didn’t know that! I got PROMOTED, because Beelzebub believed that “I’ll show you what I can do” was me being like, “hello now I’m going to prove you how much I can fuck up humanity by myself, watch and learn” and therefore the witch hunt on me was called off. Everyone admired me for starting the bloodiest revolution they had seen in a long time, as well as creating the guillotine. Yes, I accidentally took credit for that one too.”

“What, really?”

“Yep, so that’s the story of how I managed to fuck up, become part of Hell’s shitlist, to becoming promoted because humanity decided to fuck itself if. It was a real save. But the best part was Beelzebub “forgiving” me because they believed that “fuck you” wasn’t directed to them. So, I managed to insult the lord of the flies and live, without consequences. Now, that is not an easy feat, trust me. I’m pretty lucky that I managed to get batshit drunk right before that check in and not another.”

“Well, that is an impressive accomplishment my dear. It seems you really had luck on your side, with a guardian angel, as the humans put it.”

“Wait, are you just using an expression or did you somehow find out about the meeting in Hell and decided to start an entire revolution?”

“It’s just figure of speech. I’d never want to start something with that amount of bloodshed, and I know you wouldn’t either. I’m not dumb.”

“Heh, you were dumb enough to walk around in France dressed as a rich englishman in the middle of it all, chained up in the Bastille, about to meet the blade.” Crowley said, leaning in closer while bursting out laughing. “You were  _ so _ smart back then angel,  _ really. _ ”

“Well, I have standards when it comes to clothing my dear boy, and I was just holding them. It was so unfortunate that I lost the clothes to that frenchman.”

“Hah, of course you’d answer like that angel. Your fancy clothes.”

Crowley couldn’t stop laughing, no matter how much he tried, until he felt Aziraphale’s hand gripping his own, the warmth from him almost causing his heart to skip a beat. It was like everything turned silent, and as Crowley’s head turned up, he saw into those gentle, pale blue eyes.

“Your laugh is beautiful Crowley.”

He kept leaning closer. He was closer than Crowley was used too, just inches apart from his lips. The lips he had longed to kiss for so long, but right now, it didn’t entirely feel right. So, praying it wouldn’t ruin the moment, he spoke up.

“Aziraphale?”

  
“Yes Crowley, my dear?”

“I don’t want to, like this. We’ve had wine.” he began. “I want our first kiss to be sober, no alcohol. I want to make sure you still want to kiss me, without it being involved.” he said, and did his best to not look away, a small sort of embarrassment all over him. He really wanted to kiss him, yes, more than anything, yet he would rather not do it now. Even if they weren’t exactly drunk to an extreme, they still had alcohol, and he wanted the moment to not be of drunken impulse. Even if they decided to sober up, a kiss right after would still be mostly impulse. After millenia of pining, you only got a first kiss once.

But instead of being mad, the angel just smiled and gave him an understanding nod.

“I understand Crowley. We can do it tomorrow, if you want? But for now, we can just cuddle and keep walking. Is that okay with you?”

“Ngk, yes please.”

So, instead of a kiss, Aziraphale leaned closer and let his head rest on Crowley’s shoulder. And so, the rest of the night went by.

  
  
  


As the morning approached, Crowley woke up next to Aziraphale in his couch, their bodies closely huddled together in a comfortable embrace. He remembered their wonderful evening together and how they had almost kissed. And how gentle and understanding Aziraphale had been when he had told him he wanted to do it sober. It wasn’t seen as a rejection, but as a “later”, and it made him feel so much better.

But now, it was morning, and morning meant  _ later. _

Their first kiss could happen at any moment, and Crowley felt how his whole body tensed in a mix of nervousness and excitement. He tried to jump back a bit into the couch to sit up properly, but accidentally pulled the angel with him, causing him to wake up. It was a small shame, since Aziraphale rarely slept, and he always looked so adorable whenever he actually did, with his mouth just a tiny bit open.

Now he was woken up by the slight force, and looked at Crowley with confusion for a split second before he too remembered what had happened the night before, and where they were.

“Good morning my dear.”

“Morning angel. Sorry for waking you up like that, I just tried to sit up better.”

“No need to apologize.” he said. “If I remember correctly, we talked about having our first kiss today, unless you’ve changed your mind of course.”

“No no, I haven’t changed my mind. I want to kiss you, a lot actually. It’s just… ugh, how do we start? It needs to…”

Before the demon could finish the sentence, he felt Aziraphale’s hands grab his shoulders, and his soft lips pressed against his own. It all took him by surprise and almost caused him to pull back, but thankfully he didn’t. Instead, he closed his eyes and began to kiss back, as all the wonderful emotions filled his entire body, awakening so many feelings inside of him. He was actually kissing Aziraphale, and it felt sweeter than the fruit back in the Garden, and more right than the most just things on Earth.

And so, they parted, both with a smile on their face. It had happened, and it was more than perfect.

“So, breakfast?”

“Kiss me again first.”


End file.
